HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize