its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
