you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize