she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
