The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
