Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
