apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
