his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
