It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
