Tell her she can't have a vagina
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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