did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
