Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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