You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it's great music for shaving your balls
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
