Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize