Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
