everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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