The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
