i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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