Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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