She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
