Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
