69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
