I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
