My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Shame is for Republicans.
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