Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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