My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
