I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
