I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The best revenge is premature balding
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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