Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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