Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
