I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
