the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
