btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
