After last night, I could never be a politician.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
