I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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