Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
