Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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