she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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