they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
