Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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