OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
