Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
