the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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