look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize