there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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