cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
