We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
