Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just pynch a tree in the face
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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