after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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