That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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