well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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