Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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