Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
