tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
