so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
