so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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