im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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