I'm drive I can fine osifer
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
