? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I faked an abortion last night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
