Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
