I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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