..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
