no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
