Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
