Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
